Kunt & The Gang - Autobiography Review

I’ve always enjoyed a dose of dark & toilet humor – I privately enjoyed reading Viz and listening to the Macc Lads ‘The Lads from Macc’ CD when I was a youth. So when I saw Kunt & The Gang perform live at Rebellion Festival it was hard not to enjoy it. It features the kind of lyrical content that in the context of yesteryear, would fit right into those references, yet in todays post-woke world, it is grounds for a social media witch hunt. No surprise then when reading his autobiography ‘I, Kunt: How I became (and remained) and minor internet hit singer’  that he cites Viz as an influence, and media outlets refer to his musical output as ‘the new Macc Lads’. It has its own unique identity beyond that though - and whilst not fit for public consumption, can be enjoyed in its own sub-cultural context. 

Having seen him play live three times (twice at Rebellion Festival, and once at Fab Café in Leeds), I always found that his songs stuck in my head for many days after the shows. It’s no surprise then to find out in his book how he uses popular strong structure methods employed by chart-topping writers and strategies used by people who make advert jingles. In the book he strips it all bare (not that kind of bare, although there are plenty of anecdotes dropped in on that front), he provides a fully open insight into his life, music, and touring life. This is what makes the book gripping – its integrity and passion for everything he has done. They often say that the best wrestling gimmicks are those that are an extension of the persons character – well in this case, reading deeper into the life and mind of ‘Kunt’ – this is what made him such a great musician/comedian – it is very much that, and not a front for a bored suburban middle class insurance broker to provide an outlet for his repressed feelings (you only have to read some of the books written about the Macc Lads by their fans to witness that in written form – insert sick and embarrassing emoji here).  I digress, his ‘art’ is very much an extension of the man behind it all, and whether you care to admit it or not, there is a lot in here (the music and the book) that you can probably relate to.

The book goes through his childhood, life as someone just starting off in the music business whilst working part time at the council, and then the majority of it, covering his musical endeavors as Kunt & The Gang, which is the real highlight - especially the tour diaries & the tales of disastrous gigs. It made me re-listen to some of his classic material (much of it documented on his two greatest hits album), ranging from the dark ‘Let’s send Nan to Dignitas’, to the toilet ‘Wank Fantasy’, and if you want to dive it at the deep end of ‘Here’s how to wind up a gammon for dummies’, then ‘Meet Jade Goody’ and ‘Shannon Matthews the Musical’ are the dirty heights of outright wrongcockery / see you in hell epitaphs.

The book and his music are probably fit for certain people, who can appreciate the Ying and Yang of this world, yet it was pleasing to hear that all of his output had been added to the National Archives, so this unique cultural insight into an unreported world will be forever vaulted in the confines of history. You are probably only going to read the book if you are fan, and that is probably expected from it’s conception, yet if you are a ‘Kunt’ virgin, and end up checking out one of the aforementioned songs, then be careful, you also may get flushed down the toilet bowl, and find yourself secretly enjoying it and wanting more.  

Overcoming Depression - A Personal Journey Into the Unknown

Back in 2004, as a 23 year old with little responsibility and a provocative attitude, I remember reading about an article written by Black Flag singer Henry Rollins in which he decried parents that commit suicide, alluding to it being a selfish act. In my naive, uniformed, and inexperienced self, I staunchly agreed with him, without giving it a second thought.

Fast forward to 2020 as a 38 year old with huge responsibility (as a parent of two young children, a partner to somebody I love, and a middle leader working in the field of education), with a much more rounded worldview (based on personal & others experiences of depression), I look back at my line of thought back then and cringe. 

Now that I have experienced depression first hand, and have seen it manifest in people that I love, I feel that I have an understanding of it now, and can identify with it, on an informed level, unlike the younger me who had no fucking clue. 

In my past I had often been party to Seasonal Affected Disorder, yet I didn't experience full depression until my younger brother, who was suffering from depression himself, took his own life. I spiralled into what is know as 'reactive depression', which isn't a form of inherent depression that many people face - it was in response to a traumatic experience. It's only now, over 3 years later that I have crawled out of the hole, and got to a stage where I am generally better, and I am able to recognise and manage it effectively when it does manifest itself again - the periods between the moments increase each time. 

I honestly look back and think that if I hadn't had experienced it myself, I would still have no clue about how devastating it can be. No matter what I had read or heard from the mouths of others prior to suffering myself, it wasn't enough to make me understand what it is. 

WIth that in mind, unless you have suffered yourself I don't know if this will help you understand, yet If I can try and describe it to you. It's like being submerged deep in an invisible seea of pressure that encapsulates your body and mind, and you can see out of the glass sides like a fish tank, yet those emotions and feelings outside of the tank don't have anyway of resonating or touching you. Things that were once pleasurable become another aspect of your life trapped outside your own bubble. The mental pain than manifests itself in the physical side, reducing you to being fully immersed in pain. 

Since the death of my brother I have given two public speeches about depression. The first was at a Mental Health fundraiser in my local community, ran by some friends and acquaintences of my brother, and some of the people involved are also suffer themselves. I was asked to give a speech, which I was duly grateful for, as it is something I have been keen on doing, to help raise awareness. I prepped a few headline topics and soundbites, and when I stepped up on stage I felt like I was in a swirling vacuum inside my head, and then it just came pouring out  - I was in my element, given the opportunity of a crowd that was interested, and after my speech I was given a standing ovation. Afterwards I was approached by almost every person in attendance, I was hugged, kissed, thanked, and praised for everything I said. I found the whole post-speech experience overwhelming - I had never felt so much gratitude in such a short space of time, and the only way I could deal with it was drinking an excessive amount of alcohol, which then led to me embarassing myself without offending other people. I was so happy I had finally done it though.

The second time was during my leavers speech in my last employment. I opened up for the first time to the whole of the staff body, and shared what had happened to my brother, and the impact it had on me. I told everyone how supportive the school management and my department had been during the whole process, I told them that actually coming to work was an oasis of calm away from the rest of my life, where everything else seemed to be falling apart as I tried my best to manage the impact it was having on myself and others. I even told my colleagues to always remember that students are people first and target grades second. Again, I received a standing ovation and many post-speech thank you messages for bringing mental health out into the open, and in a subsequent speech another colleague that was also leaving felt empowered to open up about their mental health experiences - an example about how being open in discussion about it can lead to others feeling like they can speak out. 

I guess this blog is my third outpouring of emotion in relation to my experiences of mental health. In the long run, I hope to be able to give more public speeches and interviews regarding mental health, and now is a time where I feel that this can become more regular, as I am learning to control it more effectively. I'm definitely out of the worst of it, by a long way, perhaps 'over' it, yet still prone to an occasional trigger. 

After the recent dreadful general election result for the people that need it most (Mental Health services have been drastically cut by The Conservative Party since 2010 and that had a big impact on the provision available to try and support my brother when he was facing crisis points), a close friend reached out. They informed me that they had been triggered by something I wrote, and shared with me part of their story about how they had been suffering, and had made an attempt themselves - again another example about how being open in discussion about it, can lead to others feeling like they can speak out & get support / comfort - we can only hope that this leads to a domino effect in society. 

And this leads me back to being a parent. Just as I felt I was on the road to recovery, a close friend of mine (who had a history of mental health problems) took his own life, leaving behind his partner and young daughter. I think about my own experience of the demands of parenthood (the stresses of raising children, the loss of identity, and the insular nature of the nuclear family) and it makes me think that for some people, and somewhat bouncing off what Henry Rollins said, being a parent can actually make you more likely to take your own life, due to the increased pressure and demands on the self. This took me a step back in my recovery, and had a huge impact on my friendship community. However, given my previous experiences and the knowledge of the butterfly effect it has on people close to the sufferer, it shut down any negative spiralling thought process towards going back into full-time depression. 

Overcoming depression hasn't been easy, and there was no magic bullet that put me out of my misery. However the following things did help play their part:

1 & 2) DDP Yoga - this had a dual impact of making me healthier on a physical and mental level. The physical aspects led to a relase of endorphines, which provided a welcome restbite from the pain. The mental aspects helped me get perspective on my greater sense of purpose as a father, and raising my children provided a welcome distraction from everything. Their needs usurped everything I had going on inside my head.

3) Running - this is the most boring sport in the world, and one  the most difficult physical activities to get motivated for. It had similar benefits to the DDP Yoga, yet it got to a stage where I was too eager to improve my performace in each susequent run. 

4) Support Networks - open channels of communication with family and friends were useful as tools to talk about my problems and build a wider perspective. Having people you can turn to in a time of crisis is essential. All the people in this line of communication bent over backwards to give me all the help and support I needed. Please open up to your friends and family if you are suffering. 

5 & 6) Alcohol & Pharmaceutical Medication - Alcohol is a great short term anti-depressant, and it helped, yet heavy drinking over a long period of time did a greater deal of damage to my mental health and physical state. In hindsight, moderation should have sufficed. The trigger / turning point of my depression is when I decided to take medication prescribed for the doctor. The initial stages were ideal in helping me ease my worries, starting to feel happier, and consider moving towards the light at the end of the tunnel. In the latter stages I was becoming too dependant on them, it was making me more selfish in the pursuit of happiness, and it was incredibly diffcult to wean myself off them - the persistent headaches and head zaps were unbearable and it made Mark Renton's withrdrawal from heroin on Trainspotting seem like a walk in the park. Overall, they were heplful in the short term but not part of the solution. 

Thankfully, we find ourselves at a turning point in society where mental health is becoming more recognised, discussed and is leading to more informed social policy - things can only get better.

So when I look back and think about my experiences and the way I was when I was younger, I feel that I am getting better as a person, yet the struggle towards greater happiness & a more enlightened world view is going to continue to evolve, and a great way for this to happen is to talk to each other and share experiences in hope of building further consensus and understanding along the way. 

Please reach out to me if you would like to talk or request a media appearance. 

Best Gigs of 2019

In chronological order, here is a review of all the best gigs I went to in 2019. I deliberately left out all the shows I've been to in Malaysia because I have already written about them on the blog whilst documenting my time here.

The War Goes On @ Delicious Clam, Sheffield, UK

I have been fortunate to go to the annual K-Town festival in Copenhagen on four seperate ocassions (once at the old Ungdomshuset, twice at the Grey Hall in Christiania, and once at the new Ungdomshuset), and during this time I was exposed to many great Danish bands, such as HJERTESTOP, GORILLA ANGREB, NIGHT FEVER and REAKTION. Another to add to that list is NO HOPE FOR THE KIDS, who have a great record. After they finished up, THE WAR GOES ON rose from the ashes, playing a different style of straight up, catchy, and angry punk-rock, with lyrics in a similar vein. So it was a pleasure to not only catch them play in the UK, but also at a new DIY music space in Sheffield (the second best punk rock place in Yorkshire).

Discharge @ Temple of Boom, Leeds, UK

You must already know that Discharge are one of the greatest punk bands of all time right? WHY? and HEAR NOTHING SEE NOTHING SAY NOTHING are up there with the best releases of all time. I caught them the year before at TEMPLE OF BOOM and it was raging - limbs flying all over the place. This time round it was more uncontrollable bodies swarming the mosh pit, yet the band were just as impressive blasting through areas of their extensive back catalogue. KINGS OF PUNK!

Joyce Manor, The Murderburgers @ The Key Club, UK

This was the final time I got to see THE MURDERBURGERS (RIP), the first being at a house show in Leeds back in the mid to late 2000s. THESE ARE ONLY PROBLEMS is their killer release - slightly snotty, fast, and melodic proper pop-punk. It was great to see them one final time, despite only playing a couple of tracks from that record. What was most surprising was seeing and hearing JOYCE MANOR - they were bloody brilliant, and it's rare a new band will capture me like that. I should have trusted MR BAD RELIGION Brett Gurewitz when he was raving about them back in the day.

Harijan @ The Bread Shed, Manchester Punk Festival, UK

I put on a few gigs whilst I was living in Manchester when I was student in the early 2000s, and the second show I did in 2003 featured this band. After some time in hiatus, they have recently reformed and this was a comeback show of sorts, as well as a tribute to a previous member who had recently passed away. They went on stage around 11pm in a packed venue on the Friday night of Manchester Punk Festival and the place was packed. They play a nice mix of ska and ocsasional dub, and the place was banging - it was a non-stop skank fest, and a heartwarming return. The disco ball was used in the lighting set up and it all just felt right. THERE AINT NO PARTY LIKE A MANCHESTER SKA PUNK PARTY!

Snuff @The Union, Manchester Punk Festival, UK

SNUFF are up there in the all-time best UK punk bands - hammering out dancefloor classics throughout the decades - their punk-rock / northern soul / ska crossover is unmatched anywhere, and they truly have a unique style. The Saturday headliners were a perfect fit to plough through their greatest hits.

Frankie Stubbs, Chuck Coles @ Temple of Boom, Leeds, UK

I jumped at the chance of putting on a Frankie Stubbs show, and this was the 45th gig I have organised in my career. The tickets sold out, and there was a packed audience stuffed inside the hot box. LEWIS BURNER got us warmed up nicely, and CHUCK COLES was a treat too, even dropping in a cover of Sorrow by BAD RELIGION for us fans. Frankie was supposed to play for only an hour, yet it ended up being around two. He was in a good mood as we treated him to some chateauneuf-de-pape wine to drink during his set. He was telling many a tale in between songs, and was bigging up Leeds as a place. He played some absolute bangers, and there were plenty of singalongs. It was a real treat, as Leatherface hadn't played for years. This was certainly a good way to put a hold on my gig organising, and a great send off prior to moving away. Frankie Stubbs is one of the greatest songwriters in the history of punk-rock, and this was an intimate and rare special show to behold.

Lagwagon, The Bronx, Anti-Flag @ Temple Newsam, Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds, UK

The addition of the 'Punk in Drublic' stage to the Slam Dunk Festival was a welcome move for us old timers, and the line up was phenomenal for the debut that I could have written about many of the bands that played (obviously Bad Religion were amazing and NOFX a letdown). However, it was some of the bands lower down the bill which blew me away. I hadn't seen ANTI-FLAG in over a decade, and it was great to see them still earnest with their beliefs, banging out a greatest hits type set (on any other day I might have felt that it was too cheesy, yet on a festival day like this it just felt right and a perfect warm up for the rest of the day). THE BRONX were another new band I have seen this year, and like Joyce Manor, just blew me away instantly - a full on loud hardcore rocking set! To top the first half of the day perfectly were LAGWAGON who played some classic deep emotive love songs for middle aged losers - I was accompanied by an old friend Al, who now lives abroad, and hadn't seen for 20 years, just casually walking up and saying hello prior to the start of the set. I was briefly in a band with him at college, and we even played a cover of Mr. Coffee by Lagwagon, so it seemed fitting that I was going to experience this and sing along with him. Punk-rock brings us back together, and I even did a little cry during one of the songs. The Interupters and Less Than Jake were also fun.

Subhumans @ The Brudenell Social Club, Leeds, UK

One of the all time classic UK punk bands, still battling along, and singing about themes that were relevant in the 1980s and mostly relevant today, proving that age don't get in the way of being an amazing band. They were even promoting a new album on this tour. Great to see them at the iconic Brudenell Social Club in the new Community Room.

Agnosy @ 1 in 12 Club, Bradford, UK

Crust punk is one of those genres, similar to grindcore, in which bands tend to have a short shelf life, especially in the UK. AGNOSY (a mix of people from all over the world, yet London based) are one of these bands that have bucked the trend, probably going for around 10 years now. I really enjoyed them back in the day when crust punk was huge in the mid to late 2000s, yet there was plenty going on that attracted my attention elsewhere. Fast forward to today, and they are playing a mixed bill punk all dayer, and they were the standout and blow away band of the night - the crowd were going wild and they sounded better than ever.

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones @ The Ritz, Manchester, UK

I was supposed to see TMMB at Deconstruction Fest in Manchester in the late 90s / early 2000s, yet I ended up kissing a girl outside for the duration. 20 years later I finally get to see them thanks to some encouragement and a final gig send off opportunity, to be with two out of three of my all time gig buddies, Honest Tom and Simon the Gardener. I don't own any TMMB records and only know two songs, yet I was assured that it was going to be great from many different types of people that had seen them live. They were not wrong. They were so good at what they do, I couldn't resist skanking along to all their songs. It was a great way to round off this chapter of UK gigs before heading off to Malaysia. I would definitely go and see them again. 

So that was the best of 2019 in the UK - I'll be back for a visit in July/August for a month, so hopefully see you at the back of the pit!

18 Malaysia - MYPW Wrestlenation 2

MYPW - Wrestlenation 2

Overall this was ten times better than the previous show I attended, and quite right too. The last show was a trainee showcase, and this show was advertised as the companies marquee event, and it showed. This was also the first time I brought my family to the show, exposing them to this geeky subculture I am a fan of, so I wasn't able to give the action 100% attention. 

Shaukut beat The Statement (Singapore)

The card started strong, with two of the most experienced athletes taking centre stage. Judging by the crowd reactions this was a face vs face match, and it gave the champions of both countries an opportunity to showcase their talents. The Statement tried to pull some heel moves later in the match, yet the crowd just seemed to be loving the action, rather than being concerned about the face/heel dynamic. Both these guys were slick, had an array of arsenal to demonstrate, and it was a very good back and forth match. This was a great way to start the show, setting a high benchmark from the get go. Shaukut becomes the joint MYPW world to regional and SPW champion. 

Once again they had live commentary during the show. I haven't been to a wrestling show that had live commentary since the early 2000s when I saw WWA at Manchester Arena and Disco Inferno was one of the commentators. Live wrestling matches are about the crowd reactions, interactions between the wrestlers / crowd, and interations with the people you are sat with. Instead, these fundamentals are all drowned out and your mind is distracted / controlled by the commentators. I do understand that it helps build narrative and stories with the causal fans, yet it is far from my personal preference. Despite this, I am just grateful to have some quality wrestling here in Malaysia, and I wont let it distract from what was mostly a great card of wrestling,

Finn McCool won the 10 man battle royal for a shot at the newly created MYPW national championship

The battle royal had a bunch of recent trainee graduates and what appeared to be a few more experienced wrestlers. Some of the wrestlers had good physique, height, and carried themselves as legitimate people to fear. The most over guy was a DJ character that came out last, however he was elimated first. Mojo Fist was the most impressive in the match. At the conclusion they went with the trainee winning, using the 'teamate preventing elemination' angle, and his victory got a nice pop from the crowd. This would make a great entrance song for him...

Revolver Roy & Lethal Daus beat Bully Squad (Hendo Remy & Sambunk)

This was a very good match - fast paced, well worked tag routines, and there was regular reactions from the crowd. I was somewhat distracted by the kids during this match, so I can't offer any greater analysis.

Serigala and Gotham went to a No Contest after a double count-out

Going into the event, of the matches that were announced, this was the one I was least looking forward to. This was mainly because at the previous show, I felt the match that they were involved in during the main event was too slow paced and had a multitude of angles that hindered the development of the match. This match however turned out to be the highlight of the card. After both losing previously, this had a simple formula - we used to be stablemates and now we are going to tear each other apart to see who is going to be top dog behind Shaukat in the MYPW world to regional championship bracket. These guys put it all on the line and it was a well-paced & action packed match. Serigala transitioned into a face role and the crowd went with him, and whatever that kick was called he did from the top rope, it was amazing. He had a good demanour about him, an early career Roman Regins type look. Both guys deserve credit for this fantastic match. The finish made it go a level higher, with all the wrestlers from the back running out to do the whole pull apart, and then for good measure Serigala made a huge dive to the outside onto Gotham after he had been pulled from the ring, which was certainly the best and most outrageous moment of the night.

Orion Black beat Michael Su (Hong Kong) and Wam Bam Bellows (Australia) in a triple threat match for a shot at the MYPW Wrestlecon championship

This was a nice surprise, getting some foreign talent. Michael Su in my opinion was the most polished and explosive wrestler of the card - I'd love to see him go one on one in a main event. Wam Bam Bellows (amazing name) was also highly talented, and came across as a heelish Colt Cabana type charachter, plus 50lbs on the mid rift / upper leg. Both these guys impressed and had the chance to shine, and local talent Orion Black was deservingly put over at the end.

A new referee on the scene

Cornelius Low beat Finn McCool to become the first ever MYPW national champion

By having Finn win the battle royal for the pop, it meant that this match suffered as a result. It was a difficult position for him to be put in at such an early stage in his career, yet it will be an opportunity for him to grow and learn. The wrestlers did their best to get things going, yet for whatever reason the crowd never really got too invested in the match, and the the non-reaction to the tap out at the end proved exactly that - it was as if everyone expected the result. However, there is good news that this new championship will add another tier of competition to the company, and is a healthy sign that there is plenty of talent around to head down a road to glory.  

The new referee turned on a trainee who had just cut a promo and gave her a beat down

The trainee who got an unexpected match against Nor Phoenix Diana last time was out again. The new female hijab wearing referee, who had worked the last few matches, turned on her as an angle to establish herself in the company. Perhaps she is going to pick up the torch from Nor Phoenix Diana following this course of action. There was a moment of comedy when the other referee who was working earlier in the night came out for the save at the end. 

JY Eagle beat Emman 'The Kid'

A fantastic main event from these two upper tier workers. Both were evenly matched in terms of build, attire, and wrestling style. It was a modern style match - focussing less on the gimmicks and more around upping the ante and out manouvering each other to get the upper hand. The work rate was top notch, with some great sequences, and I'd be happy seeing these guys regularly in singles action in the future.

Thank you to all the wrestlers and the back stage hands for putting on a fantastic show. I am already looking forward to seeing what JY Eagle's next focus will be, and I am super excited about seeing the rematch between Serigala and Gotham.

New double champion: Shaukat